Laked Naked
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: a Sanjay and Craig/'Laked Naked' parody. Dipper attempts to do a stunt at the lake to impress Wendy and shut up Robbie...which goes horribly wrong for the dignity of ALL involved. Humiliation abounds! Inspired by 'FunnyTina677'


Laked Naked

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **AN: this story is a reward to FunnyTina677 for doing my challenge**

...

"Alright Dipper! I'm sick of you ruining my time with Wendy! I challenge you to a blob off!" Shouts Robbie as he jumps on the blob, and gets a good fifty feet in the air! Everyone applauds.

Robbie laughs, "Top that!" He demands.

Dipper shrugs, "I can't top that." He then quickly winks at Mable, who then uses the amulet he gave her to jump into the water and fill herself with half the lake. Dipper smirked, "Except-"

Dipper jumped on the blob just as Mable let out a torrent of water at him! "YOU GOT BURNED!" Shouted Dipper as the water spout/Blob combo sent him soaring into the stratosphere.

Everyone applauded harder, especially Wendy. "YEAH! THAT'S MY BEST GUY!" She shouts proudly as she runs into the lake to congratulate him

Robbie just snorts 'whatever' and leaves annoyed...

"Dude, you split the sky!" Shouts Wendy impressed. Dipper flusters under the praise, but quickly composes himself.

"Thank you, but I couldn't have done it without Mable!" "Thank you Dipper!" Exclaimed Mable as she gave him a hug.

"It's like that- Dipper suddenly looked down shocked- and maybe a little green -as he looked down at his sisters body. "Dude?"

"Yes?" Asked Mable.

"Why are you Nakey in the lakey?"

"Naked!?" Shouted Mable. Her eyes turned small, she went deep into the lake, and then came back out again.

She gasped for air, looked down, screamed, and covered up.

"I'm naked, I'm naked, I'm naked. AH!" She yelled caught off-guard.

Wendy tried to calm her down, "Relax, Mable we'll find it! It couldn't have gone far!...how do you lose a one-piece anyway?" She asked confused.

Dipper held up a stray piece of fabric. "Uh...looks like Mable's sudden expansion caused her swimsuit to explode...which actually makes sense when I say it out-loud."

Mable flustered, "What am I supposed to do?" She asked embarrassed.

Dipper took a deep breath, "Okay...you know what? This is my fault, I gave Mable that one-use amulet to impress Wendy...so it's on me to fix this."

And before both girls and Soos's surprised eye's he took off his trunks underwater and handed them to Mable. "Wow, that's really cool of you Dipper!" Said Wendy impressed- while also keeping her eyes away from Dipper's newfound nudity.

Dipper flustered, both due to her compliment and his self-awareness to the close proximity of his crush to his naked body. "It's not ideal, sure. But at least she'll have some modesty. Plus Mable can just wear your hair Godiva style. As long as she gets out of here quick, I doubt anyone will see-

 **SQWACK!**

"Oh, come on!" Shouts both Mable and Dipper as a mother bird swoops down and snatches his trunks before he can give it to her.

"Quick Dipper! Run to get them, if you cut across the beach you might be able to grab it before it fliest too high!" Shouts Soos frantically.

Dipper gives him a stunned look, "You want me to run naked out of the lake in front of everyone?"

Soos frowned, "Oh yeah...that's not really a smart move is it?" He realized.

Wendy just slapped her forehead annoyed- while also keeping her eye's away from Dipper -"Okay, new plan: We find you two ANYTHING to wear...we'll look everywhere...except here." Added a flustered Wendy.

Mable sighed as she floated up toward the dock- "Hey, Mable!" Shouted Robbie as he suddenly came out on the dock.

"GAH! Hey, Robbie!" Shouted a flustered Mable as she hide behind the ladder.

"Look, I'm not going to mince words. What will it take to have you tell me where you got that amulet? I can totally make Wendy like me with it, I'll make it worth your while!" Insisted Robbie.

I'm wearing clothes!" Shouted Mable as she suddenly hide behind a beach ball.

Robbie looked at her weird, "Are you...naked?" He said finally.

Mable flustered, "Your not going to find my swimsuite, throw it into the drain, then drain the lake humiliating me...are you?" She groaned.

For a second...Robbie considered it...then he groaned. "Dang it!...if it was your brother, YES in a heartbeat...but...I JUST can't humiliate a girl!" He groaned out loud.

Mable quickly motioned for Dipper to go where Robbie couldn't see him, "Yep! Just me naked! Not Dipper!" She lied lamely.

Fortunately, Robbie was too busy wallowing in self-pity over NOT humiliating the sister of his hated rival. "Not only is it wrong...but I'm pretty sure you'd kick my butt if you did it- WENDY! I meant Wendy would kick my butt!" Corrected Robbie quickly and laughed nervously, "Heh, heh, of course Wendy...like a little girl could beat me up!" He lied lamely.

Mable just blinked at him...not sure how to respond to that...then she shook her head. "Fine whatever, look if I agree to get Dipper to give you another water amulet will get me something to wear?" She pleads.

Robbie sighs, "Fine! But just because of the amulet...not because I like you or anything." He states flatly in a poor attempt to sound cool.

Mable smiled as she stood up a bit, "Well, what ever the reason- Thanks Robbie." Said Mable, oblivious that she had just unintentionally exposed her bare chest to Robbie.

Robbie flustered...and gulped, "Right, sure, great, whatever, bye now!" Shouts Robbie as he quickly runs off...in a desperate attempt to conceal his 'bulge'.

...

Soos thought he saw a swimsuit store across the parking-lot, he ran for it- GAH! Only to learn that the parking-lot recently had fresh tar put in, causing him immense pain in his bare feet. Causing him to fall over, go into more agony-

 **VROOM!**

Went a car going over Soos-

 **RIP!**

Soos is surprisingly okay, his trunks are not...

Soo's screams of pain as his bare wang is deep roasted, get Wendy to run to him fast. She nearly vomits from the sight of a naked Soos.

A delirious from the pain Soos cackles. "Ooo, Wendy..you going Commando with me?" Asked the now very drowsy Soos.

Wendy just flustered while still averting her eyes. "Uh, sure. Why not?" She said humoring him in disgust.

Soos tried to laugh off the pain, "Wendy and Soos. Getting a swimsuit and kicking butts."

"As long as I'm not touching your butt." Said Wendy quietly to herself in disgust.

Finally Soos couldn't stand the pain anymore, "Wendy help me!" He pleaded

Wendy cringed, "I just can't. your all naked-

WENDY!

"Alright, alright! Just stop screaming!" Wendy vomits as she's forced to use a spatula to pry him off of the ground.

Meanwhile, that mother bird has accidentally flown low with the trunks, hitting a power line, setting the trunks on fire, the bird panics and drops the trunks...right onto Robbie-

"GAH!" Shouted a panicky Robbie as he swerves to avoid the flaming debris-

CRACK! Which unfortunately caused him to land on/break the reservoir pressure valve, which quickly started to drain the lake-

Both Mable and Dipper paled, "uh, oh."

Robbie also paled, "Oops."

"HEY!" Robbie turned around to see a ticked off Wendy covered in tar, blood, melted Soos flab, and fecal matter(don't ask).

Robbie suddenly realized that Wendy probably hadn't seen his conversation with Mable, worse he had Dipper's burnt trunks and the broken valve wheel in both hands.

"WAIT! THIS ISN'T WHAT IT LOOKS-

Wendy was already throttling him, she ripped off his trunks and kicked his butt to the other side of the beach...

...Meanwhile...

"Constable Blubs I do hope nothing unsavory happens to me here during my visit, as you know I am the Queen of England." Said the queen as she was escorted by her royal guard across the beach.

Chief Blubs nods, but looks at her weird. "Actually while were on the subject...why are you- a foreign monarch -visiting a rinky dink town in the middle of nowhere?" Asked Blubs confused.

The Queen gave a hearty chuckle. "Oh, yes. I suppose that seems rather random- even absurd out of context. But there is a rather sensible- and somewhat witty anecdote that explains the whole chain of event. You see I-

 **CRASH!**

...And that's when a naked Robbie landed right in front of me, "Oh, my gracious! My eyes have been soiled by this naked girl!" Shouted The queen as she fainted!

Robbie blushed over the 'girl' bit and covered himself, "Hey it's...cold! Okay? Anyway, who are you to judge?"

The Guards didn't answer...they were too busy beating him up...

...Meanwhile...

Both twins were mortified, the lake was draining fast! And if that weren't bad enough- "Hey everyone! The lake is draining! Let's all huddle closer in to see!" Shouted random bystander 23.

Sure enough, everyone huddled closer to where Mable and Dipper are. Both siblings are quick to ignore the awkwardness of the close proximity to each others nudity in order to fight over the beach ball to conceal each other's respective shame.

"Mable, come on!"

"Forget it Dipper!"

"Mable, please! You know about my shortcoming!"

"Oh, you have a tiny wang, and that makes it okay for me to be humiliated?"

"You have a great body! Why be ashamed of that!?"

"(shudder) You realize you just said that to your SISTER, right?"

"(pauses to vomit) Yeah...literally did not occur to me until it came out of my mouth...But still! I need this!"

"What about owing me for giving me the amulet that destroyed my swimsuit in the first place?!"

"I gave you my swimsuit! That MORE then cancels out that! Not my fault a stupid bird grabbed it before you could take it!"

"Forget it!"

"I'm taking it!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

 **POP!**

Both siblings paled as the last thing they had to cover their shame literally went flying away in deflation...worse the water levels were getting dangerously low...

...

Wendy sees this and promptly ran toward her friends-

 **SCHLUP!**

Only to fall into a hole... "OH, COME ON!" Shouts Wendy as she tries to lift herself out of the hole-

 **rip**

Wendy looked at the small tear in her swimsuit, courtesy of a small twig jutting out of the side of the hole. Wendy furiously tries to pull it off, but between the snag and her placement in the hole...their was literally no way of getting out without completely ripping off her suite.

Wendy groaned, but sighed...she knew what she had to do-

 **RIP!**

A flustered Wendy quickly emerged naked from the hole, "Okay, if I'm quick I'm sure I can grab them before anyone sees-

 **SCHLUP!**

"Seriously!? WHO MAINTAINS THIS BEACH!?" Screams Wendy as she falls into ANOTHER hole.

...

"Well, Wendy's out." Sighed Mable as she sees Wendy's naked fall. A flustered Dipper also sighed, although annoyed at the circumstances and frightened of his imminent humiliation...he was glad that Wendy's modesty would be safe from prying eyes...which reminded him...

"Mable I'm sorry for earlier...I panicked and was desperate- But that's no excuse, it's my fault your in this situation...so just get behind me and I'll conceal you. It's not perfect...but hopefully people will be too busy laughing at me to notice you." Placated Dipper.

Mable thanked Dipper and promised to make it up to him latter. The water was currently so low they were forced to squat down to hide their privates, Mable hugged Dippers back desperate for concealment from the leering eyes of the world...

Dipper sighed...he could feel the water level receding past his butt...people were gathering closer...it was only a matter of time before the mockery started...unless some crazy 'Deus ex machina' nonsense occurred as a distraction. But really, what were the odds of-

"Hey! Guys! convenient distraction over here! in the form of a naked Girl getting her butt whooped by the queen of England's royal guards! She has no junk and makeup and everything!" Shouted random bystander 137.

"It's mascara!" Shouted an enraged/resigned/humiliated Robbie from far away...naturally everyone ran to him...

Deciding not to question these crazy circumstances, the two twins were quick to run into the woods-

 **KAW! KAW! KAW!**

Only to be swept up by birds!? "WAIT, WHAT!?" Shouted both siblings as they were grabbed by their arms...and flown right beside Soos!?

"Hey, Dudes! I somehow tamed giant birds!"

Dipper looked at him baffled, "How-

"There's no time for questions!" Interrupted Mable! "Quick, grab Wendy and Robbie!"

Sure enough, both were quickly grabbed by other eagles. And they in turn found themselves flying side by side with the others.

Despite the situation Dipper couldn't help but relish the situation, major humiliation averted, they were flying, he was getting a nice breeze over his body...it made him laugh!

"I can't believe we got through this nightmare without anyone seeing us naked!" Exclaimed Dipper happily.

Wendy giggled, "Uh slugger? Hate to break it to you...but your forgetting about us."

Dipper flustered as he realized what she meant...they all had literal bird eyes view of each other. Worse, since the eagles were grasping their arms. Their was no way to cover themselves without risk of accidentally causing the eagles to let them drop to their death.

In other words: Dipper could see Wendy in all her glory, and Wendy could see his tiny prick get an erection at the sight of her.

...Dipper was seriously tempted to make the bird drop him to his death. An equally embarrassed Wendy just smiled, "Dude relax...were in the same boat here...besides, it looks like Robbie's got you beat hands down when it come's to smallest 'shortcoming'."

"Ah, hey come on!" Shouted an annoyed, naked, and battered Robbie...Suddenly Mable appeared beside him.

"Uh, hey Robbie...I appreciate you not ratting me out...and even though that distraction was probably not on purpose...it really helped us out...so thank you." Said Mable as he gave him a kiss.

Robbie blushed, this plus the sight of Mable's bare body...

"Dude! That's my sister! Not cool!" Shouted Dipper annoyed, at the sight of Robbie's 'joy'.

"See something you like 'little' boy?" Teased Mable suggestively while an embarrassed Robbie tried- and failed -to cover himself.

While Mable and Wendy playfully tease Robbie and Dipper about their perspective, Soos was living it up-

"NAKED BROTHERS AND SISTER FOREVER!" Screamed Soos-

 **CRACK!**

 **WHACK!**

 **SMACK!**

 **CRACK!**

 **WHACK!**

 **GAH!**

Cried out all five of them as the tips of tall trees whacked them in each of their respective genitals/labia...they all whimperd from the pain, tears cascading down their faces all the way home...which was full of more tall trees-

 **OW!**

.…...  
TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


End file.
